Mid-life Crisis or Mid-life Crazy

Mid life crisis or mid life crazy, that’s what I am asking myself. Often I heard “old folks” talk about how people lose their minds or find themselves in their forties now I know what they are talking about. As I approached my forties suddenly all the things that I had planned to get to and didn’t suddenly jump out and called to me, parts of myself that I let go, began to chant my name calling me back to reclaim them, I looked and the mirror and could no longer justified my weight gain as “leftover baby fat” and I began to realize that serious self evaluation was needed. As time passed I realized my journey to find answers was going to require a lot more soul searching than I originally thought the questions I asked myself did not provide easy answers.

In my past posts I have mentioned how I never believed that my life would be what it is today as a young adult. Again I was faced with those thoughts as I reconnected with a friend from the past. As my friend and I began to talk I began to wonder was I still that person that they remembered or had I morphed into someone completely different… and in the distant crevices of my mind I realized that I am still that person, I have just forgotten that I was…. Upon realizing this I called a close sista friend and explained my dilemma, “Was I reclaiming that part of me because I was going through a mid-life crisis/mid-life crazy or was I attempting to reclaim that part of me because it’s part of what made me feel good about myself?”

As the question consumed me I became conscious that in my haste to do what was right, I may have laid a very vital part of myself aside, and I missed her. Which led me to wonder how many other parts of me have been placed on a self in order for me to become the best mommy, wife, employee, and friend? And how can I reclaim those parts of me without disrupting my life? As I travel through this journey of my forties, I have come to understand, I need those parts of me to be whole. So if on my journey you see a different side of me, don’t whisper that “she’s changing” or “I just don’t know her anymore” just know that there are many sides to me and I am reclaiming those that I sat aside, mixing them into the fold and introducing you to the whole me.




Just the way I see it.
Until next time,

Nay-Nay